He is the GHOSTER. Why do I feel so bad?

Nina Waddington
Aug 11
2 min read

In the ever-evolving landscape of online dating, many mid-life women find themselves navigating a complex emotional terrain. One of the most disheartening experiences in this realm is ghosting—the abrupt cessation of communication without explanation. If you’ve ever been ghosted, you might be left wondering why you feel so bad about it, especially when it’s the other person who has chosen to disappear. Let’s delve into the psychological toll of ghosting culture and explore why it can impact your emotional well-being.

The Nature of Ghosting

Ghosting occurs when someone you’ve been communicating with suddenly stops responding without any warning or closure. This behaviour can be especially prevalent in online dating, where connections are often fleeting and superficial. The lack of communication can leave you feeling confused, rejected, and questioning your self-worth.

The Emotional Impact

1. Feelings of Rejection Ghosting can trigger feelings of rejection, even if you were not deeply invested in the relationship. The sudden silence can make you feel as if you weren’t worth the effort to communicate, leading to self-doubt and negative self-talk.

2. Lack of Closure One of the hardest parts of being ghosted is the absence of closure. Without an explanation, your mind can spiral into a cycle of “what ifs” and “why nots,” leaving you in a state of emotional limbo. This uncertainty can lead to prolonged feelings of sadness and frustration.

3. Questioning Your Value Ghosting can lead to questioning your desirability and value as a partner. It’s easy to internalize the ghoster’s actions and assume that it reflects your worth. This can be particularly damaging for mid-life women who may already be grappling with societal pressures regarding aging and desirability.

Understanding the Ghoster’s Perspective

While it’s essential to acknowledge your feelings, it can also be helpful to consider the ghoster’s perspective. Many individuals ghost due to their own fears and insecurities. They may struggle with confrontation, fear of hurting your feelings, or simply lack the emotional maturity to communicate effectively. Understanding this can sometimes alleviate the sting of their actions.

Strategies for Coping with Ghosting

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings Allow yourself to feel the emotions that arise from being ghosted. It’s okay to feel hurt, confused, or angry. Recognizing these feelings is the first step towards healing.

2. Focus on Self-Care Engage in activities that boost your self-esteem and self-worth. Whether it’s exercise, pursuing hobbies, or spending time with friends, prioritize your well-being.

3. Seek Support Talk to friends or join support groups for mid-life daters. Sharing your experiences can provide validation and help you realize you’re not alone in this journey.

Set Boundaries As you navigate online dating, establish boundaries for yourself. If you find certain behaviors, like ghosting, are too painful to handle, consider limiting your engagement with those who exhibit such tendencies.

Therapy can also help. LivingRoom Wellness has group therapy sessions specifically for those affected by Ghosting.