Solo-Parenting Stress

Are you tired? I'm listening.

Have you forgotten that your superhero cape is behind you? 

Is it tucked in at the moment?

Listen, Single parenting is hard.  It equates to filling many roles simultaneously, with the added challenge of doing it alone. Remember, this is all happening while trying to work, pay the bills, clean the house, walk the dog….

Shall I go on?

It's exhausting. 

However, there is another growing demographic, as well.

The solo-parent.

These are the parents where the ex is not supportive at all, does not abide by divorce agreements, and often fails to hold up their end of parenting commitments, leaving the other parent there to do it all on their own. Sometimes, parents are trying to be supportive role models to their kids, all while navigating some toxic and traumatic relationship with their exes in the background as well. They put on a happy face for their kids but put up with a lot of extra stress in keeping the peace in their household. 

One can undoubtedly love one's kids AND deserve a break from parenting. There is nothing wrong with thinking or wanting that. Indeed, if one does not get a break from it, there can be mental health implications, including anxiety, stress, low mood, exhaustion, and insomnia. 

If one encounters any further burdens, such as a child struggling themselves, one may not have the mental strength to be the best they can be in supporting them. Of course, you can't! You can't take care of another without caring for yourself. In a relationship, you would talk to your partner about these stressors. But when you are solo, who do you go to?

Married friends sometimes voice jealousy about time away from one's children when kids go to the ex's houses, without considering the sadness and worry that being away from your children weekly can cause. Other times, partnered friends will voice their own challenges without considering how limited the solo parent's time is. How frustrating to have no time to yourself and to listen to your friends complain about their situations - where you would give anything to have the time they have. They also do not consider the utter fatigue a solo parent has had no time away from their children. Being the primary and only caregiver means the guard is always up, and the planning is constant. 

It's a lonely world where one feels isolated from married friends who cannot relate and even from single friends who have some support from their exes. Navigating who to find support from can take time and effort when you have no time or energy for it. 

Sometimes, reaching out to a therapist will lessen the burden by offloading these challenges and finding the strength to navigate pathways forward.

A therapist can remind you that the superhero cape is still there—it's just tucked in. 

Let's Talk.